Why you shouldn't piss off the IRS...

This has to be the most interesting IRS sting operation in its history: a hidden camera set up in a freight elevator, charges filed that could carry 10 years in the slammer, and thousands of dollars of damage inflicted.

What do you think the charge is: tax evasion, racketeering? No way (if it were it wouldn't be on this blog)! Thanks to the good folks over at the Smoking Gun:

A Michigan man was actually named yesterday in a U.S. District Court complaint charging him with urinating in the freight elevator of an Internal Revenue Service building in Detroit.

As a result of his behavior, the IRS had to spend over $4,000 to clean the elevator and the elevator shaft. This upstanding citizen, who was an IRS contractor, was charged with destruction of government property, which is a felony carrying up to ten years in prison. Here's some good news: at least he doesn't have to list himself on a sex offender registry, which is a consequence of being convicted of public urination in several states.

The key to peeing in an IRS elevator is the same one for cheating on your taxes - do it in very small amounts so you don't get caught!

Ambulance Chaser Hall of Fame

Major kudos to Esquire magazine for compiling a list (including videos) of the worst personal injury television ads of all time.

My personal two favorites are these. Enjoy!

Yankees hold kangaroo court

From mlb.com:

For two months, Xavier Nady dutifully collected scraps of paper in a shoebox tucked near the back of his locker -- clubhouse infractions reported by his teammates, waiting for the day when the Yankees would call those offenses to trial.

The tone of the hour-plus session -- which also involved clubhouse workers, video coordinators and other support staff -- was light-hearted. For example, Phil Coke's wallet was $30 lighter as a result of the home run he served up to the Twins' Joe Mauer on Friday in New York.

Coke pointed to the drive off the bat, thinking it was a fly ball that could be easily tracked by center fielder Brett Gardner, but the ball carried out and hit the netting over Monument Park. Coke was pointing while running to back up third base and his actions were not overlooked.

"You can get fined for pretty much anything," Coke said.

I wholeheartedly support using the judicial process to adjudicate baseball infractions. And there is no team with more sins to account for than the New York Yankees. Unfortunately, there are many infractions that have yet to be heard by their High Court. Those crimes include:

• Building a bandbox of a stadium with winds so powerful, it makes the Great American Ballpark look like Dodger Stadium.
• Engaging in monopolistic behavior this offseason spending more on free agents than several teams spend on their entire rosters, combined.
• President Reagan's pardon of George Steinbrenner, which makes the Marc Rich pardon look like pardoning Fred Rogers.
• Jeffrey FUCKING Maier.
• Tim Leary scuffing a baseball with sandpaper against the Orioles in 1992 (I remember that game like it was yesterday).
• Forcing baseball fans to read this bullshit headline.

So come on Yankees, do some justice. The rest of the baseball world deserves retribution.

Grand re-re-opening!

I know I haven't posted much recently. I'm trying to get back in the habit, but unlike most other bloggers, I have a life independent of this URL. Thanks for your patience.

I don't care much for the NBA, but this was too awesome not to post. Cheers! Courtesy of the good folks at Courtoons.