dicta \ 'dik-te \ n. [L. fr. neut. of dictus, ptp. of dicere] (1599) 1: a noteworthy statement: as a: a formal pronouncement of a principle, proposition, or opinion b: an observation intended or regarded as authoritative 2: a judicial opinion on a point other than the precise issue involved in determining a case 3: a legendary coach of the Chicago Bears football team from 1982-1992. 
"This is the 'crack' bill, and I think any respectable citizen would be against crack."
- Tennessee Rep. Joe Town (D, Memphis)
No this is not a drug bill. It's a droopy drawers bill, the retarded bill that just won't die.
In case you don't know this bill allows cops to write tickets if they can observe your underwear because your pants are being worn too low. Because in this economy, state government best serve the interests of their people by becoming fashion police. Sweet Jesus.
There are two bills in Tennessee, one Senate and one House. The House bill has made it out of subcommittee.
And why is it that so many of these bills are introduced by Democratic legislators? Aren't we supposed to be the party that is mindful of the First Amendment and skeptical of legislating morality?!?
Friday, March 27, 2009
Quote of the day
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Retarded state legislation: March Madness Edition
Here's a gem from the Kansas state Senate:
Kansas Senate tries to keep KU from any more killer B’s
TOPEKA | If the Kansas Senate has its way, the Kansas men’s basketball team will never suffer another postseason loss to a team that begins with the letter “B.”
After Thursday’s loss to Baylor in the Big 12 tournament quarterfinals, the Senate endorsed a resolution to stop the Jayahwks from ever playing another “B” team in March.
The resolution, which is only symbolic, notes that KU has “frequently struggled with teams that begin with the letter ‘B’ in March.”
Therefore, the resolution states, “we declare the team should not play any more teams that begin with the letter ‘B’ in the month of March.”
In 2005, KU lost to Bucknell in the first round of the NCAA Tournament. In 2006, the Jayhawks lost to Bradley in the first round.
The resolution, SCR 1850, passed on a voice vote. In case there’s any question: the resolution has little weight and, unfortunately for KU fans, has no impact on the Jayhawks’ scheduling.
You're the defending national champions! Stop being such wusses. And whiny little wusses at that. If you're so worried about a first-round loss, how about passing a resolution encouraging your team to practice more.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Retarded state legislation: West Virginia edition
(By Delegate Eldridge)
[Introduced March 3, 2009; referred to the Committee on the Judiciary.]
Be it enacted by the Legislature of West Virginia:
That the Code of West Virginia, 1931, as amended, be amended by adding thereto a new article, designated §47-25-1, to read as follows:
ARTICLE 25. BARBIE DOLLS.
§47-25-1. Unlawful sale of Barbie dolls.
It shall be unlawful in the state to sell "Barbie" dolls and other similar dolls that promote or influence girls to place an undue importance on physical beauty to the detriment of their intellectual and emotional development.
Seriously?!? OK, sure body acceptance issues is a big problem facing our society, but the solution is better parenting not banning Barbie. This equivalent of seeing a roach on your kitchen counter and deciding to kill it using a sledge hammer.
Kids watch too much TV? Ban TV. Kids spent too much time text messaging rather than doing homework? Ban cell phones. Kids eat too much junk food? Ban Twinkies.
I consider myself somewhat of a paternalist, but even I have my limits.
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Retarded state legislator: Florida edition
The Florida Legislature (which might be more accurately called Open-Mic Night at the Improv) is debating a bill to make bestiality a crime. Fifteen other states besides Florida do not have laws against this practice, but that isn't the funny part.
The bill was amended to "target only those who derived or helped others derive 'sexual gratification' from an animal. The amendment specified that conventional dog-judging contests and animal-husbandry practices are permissible."
This last provision was a bit too complicated for Senator Larcenia Bullard (D-Miami) who asked: "People are taking these animals as their husbands? What’s husbandry?"
No this is not Rodney Dangerfield making a cheap one-liner, this is an elected representative of the people of Miami. Sweet Jesus.
The bill sponsor explained what animal husbandry actually means, but Sen. Bullard still didn't quite catch on: "So that maybe have been the reason the lady was so upset about that monkey?" she asked referring to the Connecticut woman whose chimpanzee went mad and was shot by police.
Churchill was right: democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the other ones.
The one bright side of this story is it gives me an excuse to mention Del. Lionel Spruill of the Virginia House of Delegates, who rivals Sen. Bullard in the intelligence department. Last year he introduced a bill prohibiting truck nuts. Confused? I'll let him explain:
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Another funny case name
Funny case names has long been an obsession of Supreme Dicta. We have another member of this fabled fraternity:
U.S. v. Eighteenth Century Peruvian Oil on Canvas Painting 2009 U.S. Dist. LEXIS 10704
The Washington Post describes the case name as "unusual." No, my friends, that is a profound understatement. "Unusual" describes the few cases where Scalia and Thomas vote on opposite sides (last I checked that was only 15%). Case names like these are as rare and as wacky as when Justice Thomas actually asks a question from the Bench (2007 Term: 0 occurances).
As with most of these cases with bizarre names, the actual case is substantially more boring, as is evidenced by the WaPo story. It's a property dispute case involving stolen artwork. Unless it relates to the Da Vinci code, I'm not really interested.