dicta \ 'dik-te \ n. [L. fr. neut. of dictus, ptp. of dicere] (1599) 1: a noteworthy statement: as a: a formal pronouncement of a principle, proposition, or opinion b: an observation intended or regarded as authoritative 2: a judicial opinion on a point other than the precise issue involved in determining a case 3: a legendary coach of the Chicago Bears football team from 1982-1992.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Retarded state legislator: Florida edition


The Florida Legislature (which might be more accurately called Open-Mic Night at the Improv) is debating a bill to make bestiality a crime. Fifteen other states besides Florida do not have laws against this practice, but that isn't the funny part.

The bill was amended to "target only those who derived or helped others derive 'sexual gratification' from an animal. The amendment specified that conventional dog-judging contests and animal-husbandry practices are permissible."

This last provision was a bit too complicated for Senator Larcenia Bullard (D-Miami) who asked: "People are taking these animals as their husbands? What’s husbandry?"

No this is not Rodney Dangerfield making a cheap one-liner, this is an elected representative of the people of Miami. Sweet Jesus.

The bill sponsor explained what animal husbandry actually means, but Sen. Bullard still didn't quite catch on: "So that maybe have been the reason the lady was so upset about that monkey?" she asked referring to the Connecticut woman whose chimpanzee went mad and was shot by police.

Churchill was right: democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the other ones.

The one bright side of this story is it gives me an excuse to mention Del. Lionel Spruill of the Virginia House of Delegates, who rivals Sen. Bullard in the intelligence department. Last year he introduced a bill prohibiting truck nuts. Confused? I'll let him explain:

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