Could This Be Proof that Justice Thomas is Depressed?

Today, the New York Times printed excepts from commencement speeches given at various universities and colleges around the country. Harvard got to hear how J.K. Rowling is terrified of public speaking (she cried all the way to the Bank of London). Carnegie Mellon got a story about Al Gore at a Shoney's Restaurant. Jessica Lange went nuts on George Bush at Sarah Lawrence College. In retaliation, Bush informed the graduating class of Furman University that he has suddenly become interested in civic engagement. Thank heavens for those 10,000 disenfranchised African American voters in Florida's 2000 election that helped Bush become president . . . so he could lecture us on civic engagement.

San Francisco State University was treated to some revisionism straight out of an AP History exam, courtesy of Mayor Gavin Newsome. In it, Newsome said that Henry Ford went bankrupt numerous times (he never declared bankruptcy, and certainly not five times!!). He also explained that Dr. Seuss had tremendous difficulty finding a publisher:

Dr. Seuss tried to publish that darn green eggs and whatever ham, not once — five, ten, fifteen, twenty, twenty-three times he was rejected. Until a publisher finally said, "All right, what the heck do I have to lose?"

This I say in response:

Gosh, Mr. Honorable Mayor, Sir!
Dr. Seuss' first published in '37, sir!!
And, not that Green Eggs and (Whatever) Ham
Here is the truth about Sam I Am:

In 1960 Seuss published that book
Years later? Approximately twenty and three
His publisher was happy after only one look
Look it up!! Look it up and you'll see!

While they all seemed somewhat entertaining (even Al Gore in his own way), and certainly better than the speaker at my undergraduate commencement (he was the adle-pated CEO of a company that declared bankruptcy two weeks later), Justice Clarence Thomas' commencement address at High Point University revealed a good deal of just how depressed this guy must be. Here is an excerpt:

I have no intention of cluttering up your graduation ceremony with ruminations about law, grievances or ephemeral commands on you to solve the world’s problems. Most of us would do well to solve our own problems. Often, as most of us know, the real battle is conquering ourselves. But I do ask that you give me just a few brief minutes of your time on this most important day. Let me first confess that I am no good at telling people what to think or how to live their lives. As those of us who take responsibility for our lives, and don’t blame others, know only so well, life has a way of humbling, if not humiliating us.

Paging Dr. Freud. Dr. Freud to the Supreme Court, stat.

Okay, soooooo, let's do some textual analysis. I'm of the opinion that while Justice Thomas' words mean what they say, the intent of the framer of those words (i.e., Thomas himself) might have been different than the plain meanings of the words themselves. Hmmm. Let's consider the possible subtexts which might lead us to consider the Justice's state of mind.

I am certain that Justice Thomas meant to have a good time celebrating the commencement of these young people (his photograph in the Times suggests he is either happy, or about to take a bite out of the forearm of the person whose hand he is shaking). But, this guy has got some deep-seated animosity. Animosity that simply cannot be denied, even during a joyous commencement day event at which he is the Belle of the Ball.

An internal contradiction stands out, and it's one that seems at first blush to be based in the flimsy "different strokes for different folks" relativism of modern thinking. The Justice doesn't presume to tell the listener how to live, and instead implies that the graduates should all go on with their lives and God Bless. Because, life is a journey, and the journey is one of self-discovery through conquering ourselves, our own problems. To paraphrase Kung Fu, "you must choose your own path." Anyway, he strays dangerously close to this.

But, then we get to what traditionally comes across as ponderous (and pompous) self-righteousness: those of us who are better than everyone else . . . who don't complain and "blame others" . . . who suck it up and get screwed with our pants on . . . and like it . . . who are nothing like those damnable liberals practicing their wicked politics of victimization . . . we know that life sucks, it's not just humbling. It's one big, constant humiliation. And, you're going to have to get used to it. So, we'd better get started with the "life sucks" talk right now, kids.

I've had a few thoughts about Thomas' character over the years. I've chaffed at his justifications for building his jurisprudence around a single sentence stripped out of context from Justice Harlan's dissent in Plessy. Along with the rest of those who study the Court I have puzzled over his silence on the bench. I have thought of him as self-righteous, an angry, angry man, or a mini-Scalia ("I will call him . . . Mini-Scalia. I love you, Mini-Scalia. You complete me . . . and my jurisprudence. If I lost you I'd be inconsolable for about ten minutes. Then, I'd just get Alito to fill in").

But, I have a different thought now. Justice Thomas needs medication for what surely must be a debilitating case of clinical depression. How someone who sits on the highest court in the land, who gets to spend his life solving legal puzzles for a living, who has life-tenure (I like THAT tenure track), and whose party controls the court on which he sits can be so angry and bitter, one can only explain with reference to neurosis.

So, Justice Thomas, get some help. Talk therapy and medication could save the country a lot of time and effort undoing what you undoubtedly wouldn't consider doing if you could just be happy.