Drunk stripper wants club to pay for her car wreck

This is a true story. To quote Lewis Black, "I have neither the time nor the energy to make s*%$ like this up."

A woman contends that her job as a stripper caused her to have a one-car wreck on her way home from work last year, according to a lawsuit filed in Jefferson County Circuit Court.

Patsy Hamaker's suit says part of her job as a dancer at The Furnace club in Birmingham involved encouraging customers to buy her alcoholic drinks.

The suit alleges that managers at the strip club allowed her to leave work drunk on Oct. 17. She wrecked her car, resulting in serious injury, according to the suit, filed Wednesday.

Hamaker seeks compensation for her injuries and additional money to punish the club. Her lawyer, Alan Smith, declined comment on where she lives or whether she still works for the strip club.

I think we have found our Lawsuit Du Jour. Think of the incredible legal precedent this lawsuit would set. If this woman were to prevail, this would open the doors to many other similar lawsuits, possibly including:

• A garbageman will be able to sue his employer for making him too smelly to land a date with a woman.
  
• A boxer will be able to sue a fight promoter for getting a shiner in a ten-round bout.
  
• A nanny will be able to sue her host family whenever little Bobby spits up on the nanny's shirt.
  
• And a hooker at the Bunny Ranch will be able to sue her employer for alienation of affection when clients tell her they love her and then leave 30 minutes later.
  

The stripper should have done what any responsible stripper would do: if you are too drunk to drive home, go home with one of your customers. It's not that hard to figure out.

I'd love to see the look on the judge's face when he reads this complaint. I'd take bets on how long the laughter lasts. I think a fair over-under line is probably 10 minutes.