dicta \ 'dik-te \ n. [L. fr. neut. of dictus, ptp. of dicere] (1599) 1: a noteworthy statement: as a: a formal pronouncement of a principle, proposition, or opinion b: an observation intended or regarded as authoritative 2: a judicial opinion on a point other than the precise issue involved in determining a case 3: a legendary coach of the Chicago Bears football team from 1982-1992. 
If you were a potential juror in R. Kelly kiddie porn trial, how would you go about getting yourself excused from service?
- I have a teenage daughter, so I am not objective.
- I'm getting married during the trial.
- I'm currently involved in a lawsuit.
Ho-hum. Those are pretty run-of-the-mill excuses. But this is no ordinary trial. Please someone bring the crazy!
How about these actual quotes from actual members of the jury pool:
- "Nature already had an age of [sexual] consent: puberty."
- "R. Kelly may have led the Taliban in attacking us on 9-11, but you can't prove it."
That's what I'm TALKING ABOUT! I haven't heard of jurors this stupid since the O.J. trial. And this trial isn't even in Los Angeles, where the entire city is brainwashed by celebrities. The trial is in Chicago, and I'm glad to know that at least one brave citizen of the Windy City isn't afraid to tell a judge and an open courtroom (full of reporters) that his personal jurisprudence is: "If there's grass on the field, play ball."
And given the level of enthusiasm for 9-11 conspiracy theories, I expect www.rkellycaused911.com will be purchased by day's end. And, for the record, where was R. Kelly on 9-11? Was he at the Book Depository? Enquiring minds want to know.
2 comments:
And, for the record, where was R. Kelly on 9-11?
He couldn't have had anything to do with 9-11. He was trapped in the closet.
How could the jurors have left out the classic, "If she's old enough to bleed, she's old enough to breed?" This R Kelly Caused 9-11 is one of the most hilarious writings ever.
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