Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills people.

Extra, extra!! Chuck Norris has made an endorsement in the race for the White House! Who is the lucky candidate to benefit from Norris' superpower? Mike Huckabee.

“Though Giuliani might be savvy enough to lead people, Fred Thompson wise enough to wade through the tides of politics, McCain tough enough to fight terrorism and Romney business-minded enough to grow our economy, I believe the only one who has all of the characteristics to lead America forward into the future is ex-Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee,” Norris said.

It is important to remember one of the most basic facts about Chuck Norris: America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship. Talk about momentum, first a suprising showing at the Ames straw poll, then a near win in the Values Voters Summit straw poll this weekend, now you have Chuck Norris (and more importantly his fists of steel) on your side. Huckabee will be unstoppable (insert evil laughter here).

And now a gratuitous review of my favorite Chuck Norris facts:

• There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.


• Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.


• Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.


• Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.


• Once, while having sex in a tractor-trailer, part of Chuck Norris' sperm escaped and got into the engine. We now know this truck as Optimus Prime.