The Dignity of the Legal Profession

Over at the Volokh Conspiracy, Professor Volokh asks,

"If you engage in a three-way sexual encounter with [a current client] and [the client's girlfriend], is it "sex with a client," as forbidden by ethics rules?"

For the result of the actual, honest-to-G-d ethics complaint that asked this question, see here.

I have neither the time nor the energy to make this shit up.

So, in case you were wondering, as long as you don't actually touch your client, you can DP his girlfriend with him all you want! To which I say, Amen.

But in all seriousness, I usually leave "justice" to the philosophers. But today I have to say:

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot?

I mean, seriously - if nothing else, we should look at the common, everyday usage of the term. Canons of statutory construction, people! I would clearly say, "Dude, I boned two girls last night." I might mutter under my breath, "So my girlfriend and I slept with this other dude last night. I might think in the dark recesses of my mind, "So I slept with this girl, and her boyfriend, last night." But in none of these cases would there be any doubt in my mind that I had sex with both the other participants.

And one last point - wouldn't you have loved to have been a fly on the wall in the conference where the ethics board decided this case? Or be a staffer at the bar when the complaint comes in? Yeah, me too.